I don’t want to feel simply content
I don’t want the boredom of routine
I want to feel elated
I want to have adventures
I want to wake up beside you, often
In a different city
A different country
Knowing that today we will lose ourselves a hundred times,
laughing and drinking and walking
Kissing in public, ignoring the staring eyes of passers by
I want fucking instead of lovemaking
Bound wrists, bruises, scratch marks
Neck sore for days so that each time my shirt collar rubs
I remember your mouth at my throat
I want to tell you that I love you, even when you don’t say it back
I want you to know that you never have to say it back
Then, when you do, I don’t want to care about whether or not you really mean it
because in that moment, it doesn’t matter
It’s all about that moment
I want to know how every inch of your body feels beneath my fingers
Know every scar and mark and vein
I want to know your mouth by taste alone
And read you like braille
I want to feel like we belong to each other, even if this isn’t going to last
I want to love you, knowing that someday soon this will all be over
And that it might just destroy me
And I want you to know that it will have been worth every damn second

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